10 Comments
User's avatar
Tofunmi Ayotunde's avatar

This is a deep level of awareness about shame and guilt. Beautifully written. Left me wondering —where do we go next? what do we do about it? I'm kinda lost

Digressions with Dilip's avatar

Great question Tofunmi.

I think we can all contribute to changing discourse in our cultures and subcultures (our human systems) about shame.

By bringing greater understanding of the difference between shame and guilt, and a willingness to stand alongside each other with compassion, we can contribute to changing how these emotions express in our relationships, families, and communities.

kaitlyn ☆彡's avatar

Totally agree. Guilt is a signpost for what we value. Shame is much bigger - it’s our identity. Great post!

Digressions with Dilip's avatar

Thanks for reading and absorbing Kaitlyn:)

Yes, share attached itself to us and we need help to differentiate ourselves from

it.

August Caroline's avatar

Why do you think shame is so powerful?

Also, I'm guessing you didn't have a fun time on wall street?

Digressions with Dilip's avatar

Not exactly sure. Maybe because of the way cultures adapt to it. Some by weaponising it to achieve compliance, or by promoting excessive self sufficiency. Maybe just to do with how powerful an emotion it is, and some culture’s tendency to pathologise particular emotional states.

And no direct experience of Wall St (apart from visiting a couple of years back). It’s just a playful reference to Gordon Gecko’s iconic line from the film; “greed is good.”

LyAnM9's avatar

I highly agree. This takes me back to this article I made. https://seedlysalamon.substack.com/p/resentment-the-serpent-of-sins?r=7d1z6v&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

For me, shame could be where they can't own up to their mistakes because they feel more outcast than actual.

Unlike guilt, guilt can be a good reason to make someone own up to it. :)

Things like these are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. It's the outcome of the emotions you have.

Digressions with Dilip's avatar

So glad the article has helped you think about these powerful emotions in new ways:)

Digressions with Dilip's avatar

Thanks so much for reading and responding with your reflections:)

Yes, I remember reading that you wrote article recently. Our emotions are designed to shift, change, and develop.

LyAnM9's avatar

There's no better way to put it, friend. 🙌 "Our emotions are designed to shift."

...

Reading this article [backed by research] helped me validate my claim and understand my experiences more clearly.

I'm glad we're on the same page regarding this matter. Guilt is good... Looking forward to your next work! :)